I think the one thing I can safely say is that I am not boring nor do I fall into redundancy patterns. Or, in other words, I can’t stay the same way and must always be improving, bettering myself/my life, and enjoying new things. I have two mottos: one, “to thine own self be true” (that’s Hamlet, y’all) and two, “change is my constant” (no idea where that is from lol).
So, here it is – another new day full of change and possibilities. I think that’s one of the reasons I love fall so very much – it always feel like time for starting anew or refreshing. I realize that people think of spring in this way, but fall has always seemed that way for me. Maybe because I’ve been in school or worked at a school practically my whole life so for me, fall just signals a new beginning for me.
I see myself turning heavily towards a few “life goals” now – the first is still the same as always: to run. I do so love it and plan to continue it (without stressing about training for a half marathon right now) and pull myself back together to be healthy and in shape. The second is to pull myself back together financially – yes, I realize one does not talk about such things in public but I don’t care. It’s time for me to focus on getting rid of years of debt that is weighing me down. In some ways, it’s like the last thing that keeps being carried over from an old past life that I no longer live. That and a couch. But it’s a real comfy couch. 🙂
Fortunately I have two things going for me here – one, an amazing husband who truly is my best friend and puts up with more of my shit than any person should (seriously, can you imagine being married to this crazy?). He is on board and ready to be my number one fan for the running/being healthy. And with the financial, well he’s going along with that too. I think honestly, I could come home and tell him I wanted us to move to some far away city and so I could sit and write books all day and he’d support me. Assuming of course we could take the animals and be able to live/eat/have shelter.
Second thing going for me is that I know what’s important in life. And friends, let me tell you, it’s not how much you work in any given week. Don’t get me wrong, I love my job with all my heart and am able to accomplish some GREAT things there with the support of my organization. But that’s not where it’s at – it’s your family and friends. Family and friends who are probably reading this thinking I’ve lost my damn mind because I work a ridiculous amount of hours and have time for no one. And I can’t argue you there – that has been true.
But I believe with all my heart that things happen for a reason and people come into your life for a reason and sometimes you need to go away to see it all. And sometimes you need to stop and have a breakdown to figure it out. I feel like I’ve been on the verge of something for awhile – without knowing what that something is – but somehow between the last few weeks, some running, some being sick, some sleepless nights and a half bottle of gin, I think I’ve got it now. And it’s time for me to go and act upon it – a change in priorities or balancing out if you will.
Lord knows I’ll end up sharing this post on Facebook and for those of you who have read this long rambling post so far, thank you – and I hope you’ll support me in this journey – my so-called refraction of melia – it’s not just about running a half marathon or losing weight anymore – I am now changing to live in my journey for happiness – with the health and money stuff I mentioned above of course – but truly with friends, family, visitors, and people whom I have not met yet. Though I’m unsure how all of this work out or how to completely start it all, I’m going to write about it and see what we end up with as we go.
And I do so love listening to music and writing 🙂