I’ve been thinking a lot about age and getting older and blah blah blah. Okay, I shouldn’t just blah blah blah that but I feel like talking about aging is so overdone. But I’m going to anyway. 🙂
I think one reason I’m thinking about age is obviously because of the whole “changing my life” thing I’ve got going on here. Another is probably because my sister bff turns 40 on Monday and there’s an upcoming party/celebration of the bff sisters in a couple weeks in honor of the occasion. And, also because of this:
That would be my 14 1/2 year old son, whom I get to hang out with all weekend at my mom’s house. Can’t wait to see him – I haven’t seen him since middle of August and that’s a long time. It’s especially long after he goes back to his dad’s at the end of the summer because we spend so much time together. It sucks a lot to go from seeing him every day to then not again for a month and a half.
He is getting so freaking old. In less than 4 years, he will be the same age that I was when I met his dad. How freaky is that? How can he be that old already? So, these thoughts in my head are probably what have me thinking about age.
Here’s what I think about age and aging – even though I, my friends, my husband, and my child are getting older, I honestly do not feel old. Don’t get me wrong, when I was jogging down Linear Trail this evening after work, the pain in my knees reminded me that I’m definitely getting older for sure – but I don’t feel old.
When I was a kid in high school, being over 30 seemed like such sad and crazy thing – like your whole life would pretty much be almost over then. But what I’ve realized is that honestly, as I myself am approaching 40, I feel like my life is really just starting. I don’t mean to discredit all of my life before this point – of course I’ve accomplished a lot by now and lived a lot so far (like having a fantastic son!) but when it comes to me and my life and my aspirations and figuring out who I am, I’m pretty darn sure I’ve just begun. In fact, I know it.
I’ve had this weird philosophy about age for awhile (I think I got it from someone but I can’t remember whom right now) and that philosophy is that you’re not really old until you’re like 74 – then you can be old. And since life really begins to get kick ass after you start to figure out who you are (in my opinion), I’ve decided that 40 is the new 18 – you’re not really an adult until you’re 40. Which of course means that I’m still a kid. Seriously though, I refuse to act or look a certain way just because I’m “too old” or any crap like that so maybe me telling myself that I’m still a kid is an excuse/rationalization to myself that I don’t have to conform. But honestly, I doubt I’ll conform when I’m 74 either. 🙂