how did you do it? and other questions I can’t answer right now

For awhile I will try to keep my posts to about just training and fitness. It’s something I don’t mind talking about – and if I get a chance to sit down and talk to someone about how to improve overall health and wellness and fitness, then I’m super happy to do so. But talking specifically about how I did it is not my favorite topic because I am still uncomfortable talking about myself with someone face-to-face about it all. But I’ll write an email or blog post about it if you ask lol.

I get asked a lot – especially from people who have not seen me for awhile – how I lost weight and got fit. Depending on my mood that day, I will either just say that I worked out a lot, worked with a trainer for a few months, and changed the way I ate or I will take time to explain with details about the (obsessive) running and strength training and learning how to do things properly from a trainer before jumping into it all head first like I normally do. And sometimes I just say, “I busted my ass obsessively” and leave it at that.

My point here is that it’s hard for me to talk about it because I always get self-conscious and a little embarrassed when people ask me about it. In fact, it took me a long time to not say “oh, it’s all because of my trainer” when someone asked about it or told me I looked good/nice/healthy/fit instead of just saying “thank you” and not make an excuse of why it wasn’t me who did the work. And once I hit the 100lb mark, I really cut back on the working out and training because of a lot of emotional and mental health problems and also because I did that in 8 and a half months – and yes, you’re right: that’s batshit crazy unhealthy.

But now I know how to do it right. I’ve spent the last 3 months researching the hell out of it – it is what I do best after all – and learning, learning, learning. I have taken the things I have learned along the way from living through it, from the trainer, from articles, from books, from doctors, etc. and am now putting it all together to keep myself healthy and moving forward with training. I stopped training with a personal trainer months ago and I had to start convincing myself that I was in fact capable of doing it on my own. That may sound easy but it was really hard for me to learn that. Once I conquered that – with the help of an awesome friend and my husband – I was able to put together workout programs, fitness plans, etc. for myself and I now share information with others (DISCLAIMER: I am not a certified trainer yet so it’s just me sharing information with friends…not training them).

That’s all I can say about my training for now. We’ll talk fitness and eating and training more later. And I’ll do it with less text…we definitely need to get some links and photos in here – otherwise this blog is just going to be chapters in a novel. πŸ˜‰



tomorrow is race day!

Tomorrow is race day! I’m pretty excited – and also quite surprised that these last four weeks went by so darn fast. I cannot believe it is August already! In preparation for tomorrow morning, today is rest day. No running for my son and me today – just hanging out and resting (well, and going to work for me!) – and drinking lots of water. Tonight I’m going to make the classic “before race” meal – pasta. My son is most excited about that part I think. πŸ™‚

The race begins at 7:10am tomorrow so we’ll be up bright and early. My mom is coming down from Nebraska to see her daughter and grandson finish their first 5K together. And then after the race and the showers and recovery, we’ll just get to hang out the rest of the weekend which will be fantastic.

Stay tuned for post-race photos!

the random awesome of my life

So yesterday was kind of a frustrating day. This happens sometimes – no one has perfect days at work every day (and if you do, please message me and tell me about it – seriously). But the cool thing is, the bad didn’t overcome me. Well, it almost did, but then three awesome things happened:

1) I had the sheer enjoyment of going shopping with my friend after work. I’m not being sarcastic – it was awesome. You may think that shopping sounds kinda selfish but wait! First let me tell you about what we were shopping for! See, my department at work ROCKS and we’ve been adopting a charity at Christmastime the last two years – this year we adopted the local emergency shelter. We gathered money together and I called the shelter to see what they needed the most right now. That list consisted of cleaning supplies, disinfectant wipes, laundry detergent, printer paper, toilet paper, and paper towels. My amazing colleagues contributed so much that we were able to buy this much stuff (and for scaling purpose, that’s the back of a big ol’ Honda Pilot):

All the supplies for the shelter!

All the supplies for the shelter!

The picture really doesn’t do it justice – it’s 2 boxes of printer paper, like 24 rolls paper towel, 60 rolls of toilet paper, super size glass cleaners, dish soap, all purpose cleaners, scrubbing cleaners, floor cleaner, 8 things of disinfectant wipes, four large boxes of laundry detergent and some kleenex. And I’m probably forgetting something, but you get the idea. I’m so happy to be able to deliver all of these supplies to the shelter today!

2) While we were loading the stuff into the vehicle, two older ladies got out of the car next to us and we were talking about the snow forecast. I stood up from loading things into the car and one of the ladies stopped mid-sentence to say “you are so pretty!” – um, that doesn’t happen to me everyday. Yay, random stranger compliment! πŸ™‚

3) Then, after I was home from work, another friend stopped by and to give me a present – but not just any freaking present – like the best present EVER! I enjoy coloring to relax (check out meditative mandalas – very good stuff) and she brought me new colored pencils, a fancy sharpener, and these two super fantastic coloring books, The Gangsta Rap Coloring Book and this super awesome gem:

Unicorns are Jerks Coloring Book

Okay, so these first of all are like the best coloring books EVER. But, the extra cool part is that I was *just* talking about Unicorns are Jerks on Facebook the other day and this particular friend is not on Facebook – she is however, psychic. Not kidding.

So, that’s it. That’s how my day got 1,000 times better. Β The total random awesome that sometimes in my life. You just can’t make this shit up. πŸ™‚

brought to you today from northview

So I am writing this evening from my bff sister’s house while sitting on her couch with hair dye on my head. Of course, the hair dye part is not surprising – most people who know me are aware that I cannot go very long with the same hair color. I start to get twitchy from being the “same” – I like change way too much. What may be surprising is that I’m not at work – granted, I am doing some work today because I have an IM reference shift tonight – but I’m not in the library or at my desk at home buried under work projects.

As I mentioned when I first started blogging again, I needed to make some changes in my life involving prioritizing and my friends were on that list of priorities that needed some attention. Two things happened for me this week:Β  first, I had an encouraging and great conversation with a role model of mine where we talked about work/life balance and second, this weekend was my bff sister’s birthday celebration. I was worried about making the whole friend celebrationwork this weekend because I was exhausted sick on Friday and actually had to go home and sleep and take care of myself so I was worried I’d even make it. But I did make it – and it’s been great. In fact, until my IM shift, I have done NO work this weekend with the exception of email (hey, baby steps LOL). And that whole “no work” thing has been both crazy wonderful and kinda scary at the same time.

It’s been a crazy couple of weeks full of busy busy work stress and life stuff – and this upcoming week is busy PLUS I’m flying out to a conference in Baltimore early (like, seriously early – I’m leaving town at like 3:30am) Thursday morning. But honestly, I feel stronger and more prepared for my week of crazy ass workouts (courtesy of my trainer) and lots of great work, events, and travel. I truly, truly, truly thank my friends for that- nothing can help you like two days of laughing your ass off and being there for each other. πŸ™‚

my strong community = love

I know a lot of people – for real – if you don’t believe me, take a walk across campus mid-day with me sometime and see how many people say hello to me. Or, try having a meeting with me during the day at the local coffee shop. I’ve actually been told that it’s annoying to be in public with me for that reason (and, no,Β  NOT because of my piercings, tattoos, crazy-ass hair, or eccentric fashion style). It’s largely because I’ve worked on campus for 12 years. 12 years! Crazy. So yeah, I know a lot of people.

But are they all my friends? Of course not. Most of them probably couldn’t tell you what my full name is (any version of it) or really anything about me at all. And that’s okay because life isn’t a race to see who has the most friends. I think it’s more important to build connections and create a support system for yourself with solid and true friends than it is to have a lot of friends. And I have one heck of an amazing support system – I am extremely blessed.

I have a super solid small group of bffs – people who I know will love me no matter what crazy ass shit I do, what I’m thinking, how long it’s been since I’ve talked to them, or whether or not I was in their office crying the other day. Pure love. We would do ANYTHING for each other – and many times, already have done the aforementioned ANYTHING. And then I have a solid group of friends who may at times think I’m a *little* crazy and odd, but still love me anyway and we are getting to know each other more each and every day. And then I have a circle of friends who may not be super close to me but who I know care about me and who are all great people whom I too love and also are an integral part of my life.

Why am I listing all of this out? Because all of the above people + my family = a whole lotta love for me and one hell of a safety net and support system. And that my friends is the only way I am going to succeed on this journey. Yeah, I’ve got discipline (most of the time), resilience, intelligence, faith, etc., but above all else, I have people who will catch me when I fall, hold my hand along the walk, and high-five me when I reach a milestone. When my friend and I ran that 10K awhile back, I had my own cheering section there to greet me when I finished. When I am having shitty-ass days at work, I have people to talk to and places to hide. When I need to drink, share ideas, laugh my ass off, people are only a phone call/text away. And THAT is why I’m making it. Why I’ve lost weight. Why I continue to make myself get out and run and exercise. Why I’m actually somewhat keeping to my financial budget. Why…well, you get the idea.

The blogging family I’ve gained of late (yep, that’s you!) has also been fantastic. Though there may none/few comments on the blog itself, I have excellent conversations with people via Facebook, messages, phone calls, texts, and in my office. I love that I’m speaking truth and am making connections because of it. Good stuff. I guess that’s what I’m trying to say – having this support system is such a vital part of my life and I thank you. Truly.

Love Maya Angelou: β€œWe delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.”