I’ve struggled with my weight and health for a long time. I’ve done the whole weight-loss thing with diets – but always the weight comes back. I tried going to gyms to work-out, but ended up quitting because I couldn’t stand people seeing me trying to lose weight – too public. Same reason why when I started running, I only ran in the dark – before anyone could see me. These were just a few of my demons when I started.
At the beginning of 2010, I began changing the way I eat. First, out went all the processed foods. That was an interesting change. I began cooking more and found that even though I had pretty much avoided it my whole life, I was pretty darn good at it.
After lots of research, I made the change to veganism. I’ve been vegetarian off and on throughout the years but in March of 2012, I went all the way. This was a process for me – I am always striving to be vegan but find it challenging at times when it comes to things I already own (Birkenstock leather shoes for example). But I kept going at it. After two months of being vegan, my husband’s blood pressure dropped and became normal. He is NOT a vegan, but my new healthy food definitely made a difference in his life. I’m definitely not successful at it all the time – I have time periods where I switch back to vegetarian, and even worse, when I eat meat.
For a couple of years I maintained that eating style but in 2013/2014 it was all thrown out the window. I went through a surgery, huge life changes, a terrible emotional downfall, and just plain stress. Lots of stress. Not surprisingly, my eating habits reverted back to their old ways and all the progress I had made – no coffee, no sweets, eating healthy, all of it – just went away. But due to many factors that I talk about on my blog about that year, I lost 100 lbs and dropped from a size 24 down to a 9 or 11 (depending on what I have on at the time).
I was working towards running a half-marathon and maintaining a healthy lifestyle. The running was always a struggle for me because of my weight – I get injured pretty easily and have setbacks. It seems every year I ended up getting hurt and had to stop for awhile, but I kept trying. I had been working toward a half marathon for years now and thought 2014 was my year – my year to overcome the bad and the setbacks and see success. I competed in the Tough Mudder race in May of 2014 – and finished. But my knees kept getting worse. I wore braces & sleeves on my knees when I was at the gym & went running and went to physical therapy and kept getting cortisone shots, praying that my left knee would hold out as I had registered for the half-marathon in November.
In October, one morning I woke up after having done a short 5-mile run before work the prior day. When I stepped out of bed, my left knee gave out. It was weak all day – it had a different kind of pain and ache. I went to the doctor and learned what I already knew in my heart: my knee was done. The patella fermoral / degenerative osteoarthritis in my knee won out and my cartilage is pretty much gone. I will never run again.
So here I am trying to figure out how to handle losing my sanity (running) and how to continue being healthy and what the heck I’m going to do to replace running in my life. The condition of my knees also wipes out the other obsession I had gained: deadlifting & CrossFit type exercising. So I’m still trying to figure all of that out. It’s a journey that adds another element into my need to rebuild and change my life. Again.
You’re welcome to follow along.
Here we go…